Coping with a loved one’s critical illness as a surrogate decision-maker (SDM) elicits intense psychological distress. Emotion regulation (ER) may mitigate psychological distress. However, ER tendencies and their effects on psychological distress vary by racial and gender identity, which can inform the tailoring of ER-focused interventions. For this study, we examined between-group differences and the moderating effects of race and gender on ER (reappraisal and suppression) and psychological distress. We recruited 274 SDMs from a Midwestern academic medical center. Men reported a greater tendency to use suppression than women, and SDMs identifying as non-White reported a greater tendency to use reappraisal and suppression. Reappraisal resulted in greater psychological distress for non-White men and less psychological distress for White women. Incorporating tailored ER skill building into supportive interventions may improve the short- and long-term psychological well-being of SDMs, which may improve their ability to make value-concordant decisions and fulfill other informal caregiving responsibilities.