Radio frequency energy harvesting (RFEH) and wireless power transfer (WPT) are increasingly seen as a method of enabling sustainable computing, as opposed to mechanical or solar EH WPT does not require special materials or resonators and can be implemented using low-cost conductors and standard semiconductor devices. This work revisits the simplest antenna design, the wire monopole to demonstrate the lowest-footprint, lowest-cost rectifying antenna (rectenna) based on a single Schottky diode. The antenna is fabricated using a single Litz-wire silk-coated thread, embroidered into a standard textile substrate. The rectifier is fabricated on a compact low-cost flexible printed circuit board (PCB) using ultra-thin polyimide copper laminates to accommodate low-footprint surface mount components. The antenna maintains its bandwidth across the 868/915 MHz license-free band on- and off-body with only −4.7 dB degradation in total efficiency in human proximity. The rectenna achieves up to 55% RF to DC efficiency with 1.8 V DC output, at 1 mW of RF power, demonstrating its suitability as a power-supply unit for ultra-low power e-textile nodes.